Pity Parties, Leviathan, & Harsh Words
by Joni Ames
I had to laugh recently when I re-read what Job said to God at the height of his pity party, because it SO sounded like me at times in my life: “My soul loathes my life; I will give free course to my complaint, I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.” (Job 10:1)
Years ago, you would have to squeeze anything out of me about my personal life. I grew up being taught that, “What happens in our home stays in our home.” When I went out on my own in life and began to get emotionally and spiritually healed, I realized how terribly dysfunctional all of that so called “privacy” was. Well, then I went over the edge in the opposite direction, and you couldn’t shut me up! Eventually I learned to have a greater balance in my life about such things; but every so often, would still get into a “pity party mode” and “dump” on whoever would listen.
Since then, I’ve learned that life and death truly are in the power of the tongue, and that when we pay more attention to speaking about the “bad” that is going on, it seems to get worse. It certainly makes us feel worse! It often leaves one feeling as if they have defecated or thrown up on one’s self. – Now, to bring balance, we may need to talk about and get things out, and we may need to ask for prayer. However, everything in balance! Let’s not glorify the enemy by giving greater power to what he does through paying more attention to that than we do to our God and His Power and what HE does! For Greater is HE/OUR GOD!!
There is a time and season for everything. Even for talking about things that go on in our lives. Sometimes we need prayer, and it’s good to ask for it. Other times, it’s best to keep things to ourselves until we get through to the other side so that the enemy (or “well meaning others”) can’t take hold of our words and expand on the attacks. I’ve learned that there are times when we just need to “keep quiet” until we get through the test to the testimony on the other side. – Thus avoiding the entrance of others’ opinions and word curses along the way!
Joseph learned the hard way that we can’t share everything with everyone – even our relatives. Even the good stuff! It can stir up envy, strife, and jealousy in others. Or simply twist things to sound as if we are saying something that we are not saying. – Sometimes even causing us to sound prideful or arrogant, rather than simply excited and happy.
I’m a peace lover at heart. But I recently learned some of this (the hard way) all over again through several situations. When possible, the enemy will try to separate and destroy friendships through the spirit of Leviathan, who loves to twist and distort communications through misunderstanding, misinterpretation, and miscommunication. When that happens, it seems that the more we try to “fix” things, the worse it gets.
The Bible instructs us to “bridle the tongue” (James 1:26) and even to remember that, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Prov. 15:1)
The reason I’m talking about all three at once – Pity Parties, Leviathan, & Harsh Words – is that all three are often inter-twined. Words have power, and when someone speaks in a cruel or harsh manner, it’s usually because the Spirit of Leviathan has done a number with twisting the communication lines. That then often leads to one or more parties moving into some form of depression, and eventually wallowing in self pity. Then, presto! The enemy has done his job!
Whatever you may be going through, I encourage you to speak as positively as you can about yourself and your circumstances. By the same token, not so positive that it would by misunderstood by others as pride, bragging, or being condescending. As much as is possible, be sure that what you are saying is being heard and understood properly by the other party. Sometimes we may even need to ask them, “What did you hear me say?” or “How did what I say come through to you or make you feel?”
These are sensitive times for many people who are going through many things. In sensitive times, sensitive people react in a sensitive manner. In such cases, it’s wise to seek to walk above the circumstances and hear from the Lord how to respond rightly and righteously, rather than add fuel to the fire. – Which can end up sending us into our own downward spiral of self pity and depression.
“For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body.” (James 3:2)
“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.” (Psalm 19:14)
So that I may be able to truthfully say, “All the words of my mouth are with righteousness; Nothing crooked or perverse is in them.” (Prov. 8:8)
– Joni Ames